Florida Man on Trial Slings Poop at Judge
That rascally Florida man is at it again, this time hurling his own feces at Miami-Dade Circuit Court Judge, Lisa Walsh. Judge Walsh, acting quickly, managed to dodge the aerial assault. However, the area had to be cleaned and sanitized quickly because it was deemed to be a hazardous area.
Dorleans Philidor was arrested on charges of burglary, told the judge that he wanted to give her a “piece of his mind” which is ironic and sad. He also advised her to eat it and that it was good for her because it was “filled with protein”. Philidor was removed from the courtroom quickly. While there were no jurors present at the time of the assault, there were corrections officers who responded almost immediately. Philidor was miraculously acquitted of the burglary charge proving that justice is blind, even to feces.
Philidor must now stand trial for grand theft auto.
Is Throwing Feces a Crime?
Yes. But it depends on who you throw feces at. There are only two Florida Statutes that mention the use of bodily excretions or fluids. One involves state facility employees while the other involves children.
Florida Statute 784.078 explicitly prohibits the discharge of bodily fluids with the intent to annoy, harass, alarm, intimidate, or threaten a state facility employee (a corrections officer) with saliva, feces, urine, masticated (chewed) food, or anything else. Florida Statute 784.085 requires that no Florida resident throw feces or other bodily fluid at a child, unless, of course, they are a child, in which case that statute doesn’t apply to them.
While Florida law mentions the use of feces and other bodily fluids only in those two instances, it has been routinely determined that if the tosser of the feces intended to toss the feces at a particular person, this constitutes assault. Despite the lack of a statute, it is very likely that a person who attempts to inflict bodily harm or emotional distress by wielding their feces in an aggressive or intimidating way will get you charged with aggravated assault, a third-degree felony.
There are two reasons for this: Firstly, you are intentionally exposing someone to a potential vector for disease and secondly, and perhaps more importantly, it’s disgusting and very likely to leave an emotional scar.
Third-degree felonies carry possible prison sentences of up to five years imprisonment or five years probation. Likely, Mr. Philidor will be charged with an attempted assault on the judge in tandem with his grand theft auto charge.
While every man deserves a fair trial and is entitled to a good defense from the charges, it may be hard for him to secure representation after hurling feces around in court. The man is also accused of using his feces to paint his walls and, in at least one instance, has been said to eat his feces.
Talk to a West Palm Beach Criminal Defense Attorney
If you’ve been charged with a crime in Florida, the West Palm Beach criminal lawyers at the Skier Law Firm, P.A. can help you raise a viable defense. Just please don’t do it while we’re in court with you.